Reflections

The holidays are almost over, finally! It's been crazy! There has been so many places to go and people to see. Uriah got to see so many of his family members. It really is sweet how captivating this little fellow is to everyone he encounters. No one can deny the charm of a baby. It just oozes from his skin and infects everybody he sees.
Uriah has been very busy discovering his world. He gazes intently at bright lights and interesting faces, and he tells us stories with his little voice and expressive eyebrows. I never have to wonder what he is feeling because I can see it in a furrowed eyebrow, or a dimple in his grin. He wears his heart on his sleeve this kid.
I love watching him with his daddy. Uriah thinks his dad is just the funniest person there ever was. I am going to love watching them go on and on together for years to come. I know my husband will always be the funniest person ever to our son.
I started potty training with Uriah. The technical term is elimination communication, but pretty much I just take Uriah to go pee in the sink when I think he has to go. I save lots of diapers this way, and we get to stare at each other in the mirror and it's hilarious. It's a good reminder on days when I look like crap that Uriah couldn't care less how I look. When we stand in front of the mirror and I grimace at my reflection Uriah just smiles and coos. It's really grounding. I'll be sad when he starts to sit up and he will have to start sitting on a little potty instead of using the sink. I'm excited to start taking "EC" on the road and do it when I'm on the go and not just at home.
Uriah is working very hard at rolling over. He will stick his butt so far into the air and try to roll over, but he hasn't figured out the top half yet. He gets really worked up about it and it's quite comical. It's funny how every baby before him has figured it out and now it's Uriah's turn. I'm in no hurry of course, take your time growing up kid. I know my days of pre-mobility are numbered.
Sleep sleep sleep. If I didn't have to sleep I think I could rule the world. Just kidding, I would probably just sit there and watch my baby sleep. (Side note: I totally get it now Edward Cullen sorry I was hatin' before.)
But since I must sleep I do it next to my baby. I love having him right next to me at night. I can monitor his breathing and well being and hello! Snuggles. I can feed him without him having to cry for it first, and honestly I would get no sleep if we weren't Co sleeping. I've tried to put him to sleep in a side car(bed attached to my bed) and he would not have it. He prefers to be close to me, and I'm ok with that. We do it safely and we both get more sleep because of it. When I have nightmares my baby is right there when I wake up and it puts my restless mind at ease. There will come a day when I won't get to snuggle my boy all the time, and when that day comes I'll be glad I took every opportunity to do it when he was little.
I'm so thankful that I have my sweet boy, and that he is teaching me so many things. He is always challenging me to see the bright side and live and love more intently. He helps me to let go of anger because when I look into his eyes and see his innocence it's hard to believe that anything is worth getting upset over. It makes me believe that things should be much much more simple then I always make them out to be. He makes me want to change the world to be a brighter place. And I know the only way for me to do that is by being kind, by smiling at strangers and stopping to talk to passers-byers for the sake of hearing how their day is, and letting them smile at my baby. If everyone had a couple more baby smiles a day surely our hearts would be softened. 
This new year will be the fastest one ever. It will be full of wonders, adventures, love, and grins, and of course, cups of coffee.  Learning and growing always. I'll share so many joy filled moments with the people I love. I'll never forget these moments of motherhood when my baby was small and we were both figuring out what life is all about.
As I reflect on the last year I can't help but be in awe. It was exactly a year ago today that I got my last cycle bringing news that I once again wasn't pregnant. I poured a glass of champagne and toasted to the new year making it my goal to not hate myself for not getting pregnant again. At least there is wine I thought. I had no idea that January would be the month I got my sweet baby. I was so ready to give up, because it hurt so bad waiting to meet someone that I knew would change my life. But 2014 brought me all the joy I never knew I was missing. I conceived my child and grew him from an itty bitty seed, to a 9 pound baby during such a lovely pregnancy. I brought him into the world in the most perfect birth I could have imagined: safe, secure, and full of love. And now he is here and my heart is so full, loving and getting to know this child that I feel like I've really known my whole life. I have watched my little family grow into something so beautiful and close.  2014 was more of a gift then I could have ever imagined. My husband, my baby, and our silly pup. All the love I could ever need.