I would be lying if I said preparing for a baby was easy. Every day there is something that stresses me out when I think about providing for a baby. There is so much I need to work on. Finances, shopping, cooking, I really need to step up my domestic skills. Sometimes I even wonder, "Is this what I really want?" My answer is yes. One of the reasons why I was really horrible at school was because I was HORRIFIED of challenges. If I knew there was the slightest chance I might fail at something I just tried to avoid it altogether. It may sound silly, but it is REALLY hard for me to rise to a challenge. I don't consider myself a go-getter and that is something I really need to work on. My sisters are great inspiration for me because they have incredible domestic skills. As many good pieces of advise they give me, I really have to dig deeper and try harder to want to make the sacrifices to make it happen. I need to stop being afraid of making sacrifices.
I'll tell you what, whenever I do get pregnant, it won't be just a 9 month pregnancy, because I have already put 3 months worth of preparing for a baby into this. And it hasn't been easy, and it honestly makes me sad sometimes. So to those of you who didn't have to wait to get pregnant, you are lucky. But maybe I might just be more prepared... If you could ever even reeeally prepare yourself anyways. Maybe it will happen this month, but I can't afford to get my hopes up.
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