Gentleness

My Moose is growing older, more sweet, more passionate, just as babies should.
His daddy and I are already stretching our minds. How will we raise him to to thoughtful in his actions. It's obvious we have arrived at the time when he can see, feel, and react to what we show him.
So we have a lot of conversations about how we respond to him. When he's fussy. Is he just fussy? Or is he tired? Is he just lonely? Or does he have an intense curiosity about that plastic bag, so do I need to sit with him so he can play with it safely while I watch.
I've found he's usually never "just fussy." Which is both wonderful and challenging. It means that I have to be more present. I can't write off what he's feeling because I'm too involved with my phone, or the TV.
It's so hard listening to him when he tells me, "I'm tired, and I need held," or "I'm frustrated because I don't want to play alone."
When I choose to become a mother I wanted to be a mother who responded to all of his needs. Not just, hungry, or needs a diaper. It's exhausting, and I fail at it a lot, but I keep trying because I want my Moose to know im there for him through it all.
He's got a intensity about him, and when he plays, sometimes he plays too hard. He'll pinch and scratch and it hurts us. Our immediate reaction is to yell "NO." And put him down. But we thought about it, and how does anger encourage him to be gentle? So we rationalized that gentleness begets gentleness.
We slowly pick his fingers off our faces, take a deep breath, and say "gentle Uriah." We can still play without hurting.
It's harder when the day has been long, and the heat of the day has worn us thin. We are the adults though. We must reign in our feelings if we expect him to. That's why I have my husband, and he has me. To help each other through our emotions. To take over when the other just can't. Uriah has us, to help him through his emotions because 9 months is too young to understand those things.
I love our little boy so much. He's pure goodness. I try so hard to think critically about how we are raising him. And what we are showing him.
I'm thankful for my husband, who supports me so I have time to think through my actions. I'm thankful he gives me time to myself so I can take care of myself so there is more of me to give. He's a good husband. He's a good father.