Week 24!

24 weeks with my little guy, and I'm growing closer and closer to him. He is a crazy little guy. I never thought I'd be able to feel him wiggling ALL THE TIME. Sometimes he gets so crazy in there and it makes me wonder what he is up to. Is he dancing? Practicing karate? Moving my organs out of the way? Or maybe just saying hi? Either way I love it. I wake up sometimes and he is wiggling around and I can't wait for the day when he is earth side and up in the middle of the night doing the same thing and I get to look my son in the eye and tell him to go to sleep or else! And if he is anything like his father then he will spend the rest of his life being a wiggle worm in his sleep. His poor future wife. I mean *cough cough* what? I have the best sleep ever next to my man.
This week we had another prenatal appointment. In case you are just tuning into Butt Chin Biographies, I'm receiving prenatal care at Bella Vie Gentle Birth Center and every prenatal test is optional for me! Which is awesome because there are tests that are really just not relevant to me. I knew that the glucose test was coming up, so I was looking forward to learning about it from my midwives. Pretty much every woman takes a picture of her glucose drink, it's like a right of passage for pregnancy. Am I right? I asked my midwife why most pregnant ladies take this test, and what are good reasons for not taking the test, or possible alternatives to the test. What I learned is that I have no risk factors for gestational diabetes (YAY GO GOYER FAM) and a lot of times the test needs to be re-done, and one of the ingredients in the drink isn't even regulated by the FDA. Also that much sugar just isn't good for any body, pregnant or not. BUT they did explain to me the problems that gestational diabetes causes and that doesn't sound like fun either. So, an alternative to the glucose drink is getting a blood sugar tester thing (yes that is the official name) and taking your blood sugar levels two hours after you eat twice a day for a couple days. This not only shows a much better picture of what your blood sugar looks like, but I'm told it's really helpful in making better eating decisions. I DEFINITELY need help in that department, so I opted for the alternative test instead. No nasty flat soda drank for this pregnant lady. I'll save my sugar intake for something much more appetizing thank you!
My sister brought up a question I have never thought about before. She was curious how EVERY pregnant lady was supposed to dilate to 10 cm before pushing, when we all have different bodies and different sized babies. I was like, wow, I have no idea. Every woman does not have the same size anything, so why should the cervix be any different? So I posted the question on my birth center's private facebook page (reason number 385 that I LOVE my birth center) and asked the midwives to shed some of their wisdom on the subject. The response was remarkable! I learned so much about dilation and how it's measured and how my midwives felt about closed glottis pushing. All this from throwing it out on facebook. If you are curious about this, message me! One of my midwives' doctoral classmates got a hospital in Alaska to change their policy on closed glottis pushing and it made their cesarean rate go from 30% to 15%!!!! Oh what's Bella Vie's cesarean rate you ask? 4.9 % in the last 3 years! That's impressive folks!
In other news, thanks to copious amounts of Bio Oil, and now Earth Mama's Stretch Oil my belly button is no longer about to rip in half! Praise the Lord! My grand canyon of a belly button is still on it's way to becoming Mt. Everest, but right now we are at Great Plains. I'm sure you were all wondering how it was doing, so there ya go!
Oh I turned 24 last Thursday, so that was exciting. I celebrated by getting a pedicure with shellac because my darn toes are just so far away now, and it's hard to keep up with the paint. I got to spend some nice time with my family too. This time of the year I get showered with the love because Mother's day is a couple weeks before our anniversary, and then it's my birthday! My poor husband. It works out ok though, because after my birthday is Father's day, so now there is that for him!

23 weeks

Where do I even start? What a week. This week has lasted an entire month I feel.
It started out pretty well with a trip up to Portland with my sister, and the kiddos to go to Athleta. I won a contest on instagram for a $250 gift card to Athleta, and two boxes of Luna bars. I also got some awesome samples from Yes to Carrots. I don't think I've ever spent 250 dollars on clothes before. I RARELY buy anything full price, so it felt so wrong pining through 50 dollar shirts for something I wanted. But I got over it, and we had fun on my shopping spree. I found two tank tops, an awesome sports bra for the poor "girls", and some awesome linen shorts. My sister loved the shorts I found, so I got her the same pair in a different color. It was fun shopping with her and Ella, who dances more than she shops in stores with great music. We also went to dinner in Sherwood with some of Mollie's friends from her mommy and me group. Good food, good company!
I think Uriah is going through a growth spurt because my "girls" are hurting all over again, I've had trouble sleeping, and the skin over my belly feels like it is going to tear in half right down the middle. I did not know that stretch marks actually hurt. I've heard that you get itchy, but not that it feels like ripping. My belly button is (was) one of the deepest around. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about my belly button popping out, but this week I was proven I was VERY VERY wrong. In a matter of days, my belly went from fine, to taught, to oh my goodness, I'm going to break. The skin around my belly button is bruised. I wish I was kidding. And it hurts so bad. I can't even touch it, I don't want Zach to touch it, I just want to rub Bio Oil on it and pray it stops hurting. I'm not upset about getting stretch marks, I couldn't care less. My body is for my baby, and I know it's part of the process. The ripping sensation is another story. I'm so grateful for my little guy, and I'm so glad he is growing, but ouch. Ouch Uriah, ouch. I would post a picture, but my belly button is camera shy, and I don't want to scare you, so you will have to take my word for it.
Every week my app tells me how big he is, and it is starting to bother me because comparing a baby to a pomegranate seems preposterous. My child is neither the size, nor shape of a pomegranate. Pomegranates do not have legs, or arms, and they definitely don't make your belly button bruise.
Uriah has been moving all the time, and I love being able to let people feel my belly when he is hanging out towards the "surface." Pregnant bellies are incredible, and it's incredible what a woman's body does to grow a child, and so I love when people can touch him and they realize just how cool it is. Some people are freaked out by pregnant bellies, and bless their hearts, but I hope one day they take it for what it is, a beautiful process, and also just really cool.
This may sound crazy, but I already know I'm going to miss being pregnant. I feel so close to my little guy and I feel like I am never alone because I have my son swimming around in there. It's like the ultimate snuggle. I know one day he is going to be too old and cool to snuggle his mommy, and so I'm just really trying to be grateful for this time. When I told Zach I would miss being pregnant with Uriah because I will miss his little kicks, he said, "Ah honey, I'll still kick you!" and when I told him I'm sad I can't cuddle Uriah forever he said, "That's what your husband is for." Ok, Zach, you got me there.

Being Pregnant..... A poem for a hurting family

Someone I care about lost their sweet baby at 33 weeks gestation. I haven't been able to wrap my mind around what happened, or what this beautiful family must be going through. All I can muster in my mind, is that sweet baby Nolan experienced his life of 33 weeks surrounded by love and joy. Although his life was much too short, I don't believe that there could be a better way to spend his 33 weeks than growing in his mommy's belly and feeling all the love poured on him from not just mommy, daddy, and his big brother, but their entire community of friends and family who loved little Nolan before they even met him. I have been praying like crazy for those who are hurting, and I hope healing comes soon. I wrote this poem because I never understood these things about pregnancy before 23 weeks ago when I found out I was expecting my own little guy, and I realize now how precious each little life is, no matter how small.

Being pregnant is giving yourself over completely

to a precious life who knows and feels only your heart.

Being pregnant is knowing that the little heartbeat in your womb

is everything that you hope for.

Being pregnant is letting your baby experience love

before ever knowing what love is.

Being pregnant is loving more profoundly,

for your baby feels every ounce of joy that love brings.

Being pregnant is knowing that you grow more than bones and skin

but a soul that develops on it's mother's and father's love.

Being pregnant is being vulnerable to the life that you carry

that holds a piece of your heart within it.
Being pregnant is not just carrying a baby who's heart influences just yours and your husband's,
but every person who loves that sweet, sweet life within you.

22 Weeks

This week the husband and I got to celebrate our first anniversary! We have been joking about it for awhile. I guess you could say we aren't too impressed with ourselves for staying married a year, because well, it was easy! Of course we have had our ups and downs, and our share of disagreements, but overall, we share a common goal, and I just love the snot out of my husband.
We went out to dinner on Monday to celebrate and talk about our year. We shared our favorite moments, what we learned and what we didn't expect. Looking back it is funny to both of us how we decided after being married for 4 whole months that we were ready to start our family. If you had asked us on our wedding day when we wanted kids we would have told you, "In a couple years!" Call us crazy, but we haven't regretted it. It felt like the only thing we were supposed to do. I often wonder where we would be, or what we would be doing if we didn't decide to start our family. Preparing to be mommy and daddy has changed who we are as individuals, and also as a couple. Our whole way of thinking now has to accommodate a tiny little human who we get to raise to be a loving, responsible, and kind adult. I know that to keep our sanity I will have to take care of my husband's needs just as much as I will tend to Uriah's needs. And Zach will do the same for me.
One of the reasons why I love my husband is that he understands me. He called my sister for help with my present for our anniversary. He told her he didn't want to get me jewelry because he knew I would appreciate something I can use more, and he wanted some ideas. Well he ended up getting me 4 camis (I wear them everyday and my old ones do not cover the bump anymore) a new maternity maxi skirt, because those things are like heaven I tell you, HEAVEN, and he got Uriah two adorable outfits. I was swooning. He really listens to what I want, and didn't just get me flowers. I really dislike getting flowers from him. I feel like it is the most unromantic thing he could do for me. Maxi skirt for the win! Also it was just pretty impressive what he picked out for our son to wear. I'm pretty sure we will use one outfit for his going home get-up. It was pretty cool imagining that in 4 months we are going to have a baby to put in that cute little onesie.
I love my marriage, I'm so grateful for the support I receive from my husband. My husband has given me so many fantastic gifts over the years, but I'm pretty sure the best gift he will have given me won't be here for about 4 more months!

21er!

Pregnancy is starting to become more beautiful and more enjoyable with each kick and wiggle my little guy gives to me. It is seriously the best thing ever. I can now feel where my little guy is most of the time, and if he is close to the top I can feel him from the outside. It is so cool feeling my baby from the outside. Zach keeps telling me he is going to come out with little bruises because I keep poking him. The mornings are the best when I get to "sleep in" because if I lay on my back then Uriah usually floats to the top and I can feel the whole length of his body. It is unbearably exciting and I tell him how much I love him and I rub where I guess that his little back is. I feel like I am already getting to know my son even though I can't see him. I love this stage of pregnancy. I LOVE it.
People are regularly asking me about my pregnancy without me saying anything, and it makes me proud of my little guy for growing so big, and making me feel so beautiful. I'm trying to enjoy every minute because I know that I will miss being pregnant, and I will miss feeling my baby growing inside of me. Pregnancy is so often uncomfortable, and it makes me feel crazy sometimes, so I'm really trying to focus on the positive.
A few of my friends had their babies recently, and it puts things into perspective for me. Things like, I won't be pregnant FOREVER and I WILL have my baby one day. I always thought 9 months was no time at all, but now it feels like eternity.
Zach and I got to babysit for my sister while she and her hubby went on a date. Zach was carrying around Wesley, my 7 month old nephew, in the ergo carrier and it was one of the best things I've ever seen. He is going to be such a great dad, and I can't wait to see him with our son. It will also be fun to watch Reggie with a baby because he is already so great with Wesley. Yesterday Wesley grabbed on to Reggie's leg and pulled himself up to standing and Reggie just stood there and let it happen. He is a good dog. He has a licking problem, but he is a good dog.
Zach and I have started talking about what we will do when mister Uriah comes as far as work goes. Ideally I don't want to have to work for awhile (9 months to a year) after he comes, but we also gotta pay those bills! So far we are just working on saving money, but we are praying that God shows us exactly what we need to do. God has been so faithful in showing us our path, and I have peace (at least for right now) that he will continue to do so. Worst case scenario? Uriah is going to be spoiled completely rotten by his grandmas while I'm working and pumping that milk.
I had another appointment last week at Bella Vie to check in and see how I was doing. They asked the usual questions, are you constipated? Any swelling? How are you feeling? We also talked about the appointment I had with the doctor in Beaverton and some of the symptoms that have been bothering me. I explained that overall I felt fine, and when I started nit-picking my symptoms it started to stress me out and make me feel inadequate about myself. My midwife encouraged me to look at the big picture and trust my body instead of stressing out about symptoms. I got to meet the rest of my birth team at the appointment, and I feel awesome about my labor already. Would you think I was crazy if I told you I look forward to my labor and delivery? Because I do! I can't wait to bring this baby into the world, and although I'm sure it will hurt, my body is strong and capable, and I can do it! I'm not afraid of the pain, or the struggle, or what might go wrong, I'm just excited to deliver my Uriah like a champ! I have no reason to be afraid.

Not your typical FOOD blog.

Ever since I've been pregnant I've had to become even more aware of what goes into my body because now, obviously, I'm not just feeding myself. I guess you could say I'm a fairly typical eater, I go out to eat every once in awhile, only fast food once every two months. I prepare my own food at home most of the time, but that doesn't mean it's healthy all the time.
I had a doctor tell me recently that I have low blood sugar and I am also anemic. I was really disappointed to hear this because I feel like I'm doing a bad job at giving myself and my baby the nutrition we need. It hasn't been easy for me to eat during this pregnancy because I only want to eat when I'm REALLY hungry, and then when I do eat I don't eat very much. I have also been craving sweets like a mad woman.
I've also been struggling with juggling everyone's opinion about what I should or shouldn't be eating. I've found during pregnancy people will tell you what you should and should not be eating. I've found this incredibly frustrating, and it's hard to not take offense to what people say. I work at a coffee shop and I have CHOSEN to not drink caffeinated espresso. Why? Because it dehydrates me and makes me jittery when I haven't eaten a lot. I do not believe that drinking a cup of coffee or two a day is in any way going to hurt my baby. Some women don't give up coffee at all, and drink tons of it, and they have healthy happy babies and they don't spend 9 months being grumpy because of it. Does this stop anyone from making comments to me about not drinking coffee? No! I hear things like, "Oh no, that's not for you is it?" Or, "I hope that's decaf!" I have a couple ways I could chose to respond, I could either inform them it's not for me, or it is decaf, and they would feel justified in saying something. I could inform them on caffeine's effect on a baby and how a cup of coffee won't hurt my baby, and then they would judge me anyways, or I could just play along and again, they would be glad they saved my poor fetus from shrinking to death. None of these makes me feel any better, and so I hate when people say things to me about coffee. It's as if they HAVE to say something, like they MUST address the situation or it's awkward if they don't.
I've also had a couple people ask me if I'm "allowed" to have fish. Most of the time I don't feel like preaching to them about mercury, and how it's found in a couple kinds of fish, and how many great things there are in fish for everyone, not just pregnant women, and fish should be eaten at least once a week and blah blah blah. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier for me if I had done no research and just been a pregnant little sheep who didn't think for herself or do any research on anything so that I would be blissfully unaware of how people like to keep pregnant women in a box.
All of these things have been dwindling away my confidence in myself and my ability to take care of myself and my family, and I wonder, will I ever be one of those moms who can consistently prepare healthy meals for my family? Will I ever be able to stop eating sugars and processed foods every once in awhile? Is it ok if I don't?
I hate that I feel this way, but I know nutrition is something I need to work on. I've been trying to figure out how to make eating right functional for us, and it isn't easy. I don't want to eat right for the sake of bragging about it on Instagram or Facebook. I need to find a way to being committed to making permanent changes in our diet. If I get there, I'll let you know. I know it isn't something that is going to happen overnight, and subtle progressive changes are what is going to last. I also know that I have to stop feeling so guilty about everything and just try my best, but it's easy to be brought down by people's words, and I have to learn to shake it off, 'cause you all know they aren't going to stop saying things. I'm trying to become a stronger woman, and confidence doesn't come easy to me. I want to make a difference by not being someone who says belittling things to other women, but being encouraging and not judging other women. Mistakes are inevitable, but I hope people think of me as someone who is supportive and nice, and someone who isn't perfect, but tries her best.

HALFWAY!!!

Well, this has certainly been the most exciting 20 weeks of my life! It seems like ages ago when I got that positive pregnancy test, and we have come so far since then. My little Sprout has grown to the size of a banana, and is kicking me and being a crazy little baby already.
This week was pretty emotional. I thought I was over the moodies, but I guess not. I had a doctors appointment in Beaverton on Thursday and it went well up until I had to sit there and wait for another blood draw... I just REALLY didn't want them to draw blood again. I'm not even afraid of needles, I just didn't want them too. I was being a giant baby, and I honestly wanted to cry. I didn't, but I wanted to! My doctor is having me take a bunch of supplements to help with my stomach, and I'm also on iron now because apparently I'm anemic. I have to swallow a lot of pills now, and sometimes they make me gag. It ain't cute, and it takes me about 15 minutes to get them all down. YUCK. My doctor informed me that I have low blood sugar which means I need to eat every 2 hours which is a lot harder than it sounds. I'm never hungry that often and it isn't fun to eat when I'm not hungry. But seriously, every two hours? Ain't nobody got time for that!
I also got sick on Friday, so I'm still recovering from a cold. The good thing about the cold is that I can't even feel my heartburn thanks to all the mucus! YAY mucus! I spent the entirety of Saturday and Sunday on the couch. It was exciting.
My bump is huge now! I love it, I love it so much! I really feel pregnant and not fat. I feel like my skin has been stretching more so my stomach doesn't feel so tight after I eat. Uriah is just making himself at home in there, and I love his company.
I have another prenatal appointment tomorrow, and I look forward to another meeting with my awesome midwife. I'm almost done reading Ina May's guide to childbirth, and I have learned SO MUCH! This book is a lot more than I expected it to be. Have any of you other moms read it? If not you should! I love teaching Zach about the things I read. It makes me feel oh so smart!
I am looking forward to the next 20 weeks. More growing and learning, and falling more in love with this guy I haven't even met yet. The more I experience life the more I learn about the depths of love. I am excited to see my son for the first time and know what it feels like to hold my baby, something that I created with my husband, and love my son so completely that there is no greater feeling. That will be the day, but until then, I'll keep rocking this baby bump, and enjoy the ride.

Also, this awkward picture happened, I think it's funny though, so I must share!

Nice photobomb Reg.