Mommy Ramblings

To be completely honest with you, I'm not quite sure how we got here. It's been a blur. It's kinda like I've been sliding down an icy slope trying to drive my ice pic in to slow down, but it's useless. I'm officially "that mom" who says things like, "oh where does the time go," and "they grow up so fast." And I say it because it's true, I see my son laying on my chest and I think,  "this, this right here will never ever last long enough." It's a cruel thing that a mother both desires to see her baby grow and blossom, and also to stay little and forever curled up on her chest, tucked under her chin. So we resort to taking a million pictures and laughing, then crying at each new stage. It forces your heart to grow wider so you can love more intently. I can actually feel my heart grow. I swear I can! I look down at my baby, and then my chest tightens, my breath stutters, and then I feel heat spread from my heart to my limbs. That is when I know: I just loved him more now than I did one second ago. It's the best heart condition you can have, and if you know what I'm talking about then you probably have it too. I'm not just talking about moms either. I noticed it too when Uriah was no more than a twinkle in my eye. It would happen when I held my nephews and nieces close.  It's no wonder kids grow up, they gotta make room for a big ol heart to love their families, and one day their own children.

Uriah Blaine's Birth Story

[Preface: This isn't just a chronological order of events leading up to a baby being born. No, this is our story of how the strength of a family, and the will of a mother gave birth to a baby.]

Although I enjoyed my pregnancy with my child I'm not about to tell you it was easy. It was preparing me though, in the most delightful of ways, for motherhood. Pregnancy was beautiful, even through the struggles, and it should be no surprise that separating from my baby for the first time wouldn't be easy.

(All pictures done by Jessica Kirkland Photography)

Every Wednesday for about 36 weeks I counted 7 days closer to my due date, even though I knew he'd be late, after all, he is a Gilbert. I hoped he would come early, but I knew deep down he wouldn't be. My uterus was just that incredible. So at 40 weeks pregnant the morning rose, and the evening faded, and I rolled my big pregnant belly back to bed for another night of 30-point turn rollovers, 4 trips to the bathroom, and countless braxton hicks.
It wasn't until 3 more nights of this had passed that I woke up on Saturday the 11th at 4 am, with a real-deal, undeniable, no messing around, contraction. It was very exciting, but I was very tired still, and desperately needed a shower. So I took a shower, and did what I had done every morning of the last month: I went back to bed. I knew I was going to need the rest. So I laid back down and thought, "Well, this is how my story begins, 'Big ol' pregnant lady goes back to sleep' How exciting." Are you hooked yet?
I woke back up around 7 am. Since it was a Saturday I thought I'd let my late-riser husband sleep in for what would probably be the last morning to do so for the next 18 years. That lasted all of 30 minutes when I decided I was HUNGRY. My appetite proved to be a driving force behind much of my labor. I woke up my man and told him the good news. My contractions were about 6 minutes apart from the get-go, but my husband wasn't convinced because he didn't want to get his hopes up.
 He arose and made me breakfast. Suddenly, all of the nesting that I never really got hit him hard. He was running around scrubbing the apartment top to bottom while I was rolling around on the yoga ball ohh-ing and ahh-ing through contractions. He also had time to run to Starbucks for me (what a man) and get in a round of Battlefields all before 3 pm.
All morning and into the afternoon my contractions stayed about 6 minutes apart. Then they started to get a little more "intense" as people like to describe them. They were starting to captivate me. It was no longer something that was happening to my body, but something that I was actively participating in. A wave would roll in, and together we would go deep within where my baby was hidden and protected. I would feel all my muscles focusing, pulling here and there and reaching around my baby. Although it felt painful to me, my muscles knew just where to tighten to bring my baby out ever so slowly, and ever so gently, exactly how he needed to come out.
I got in the shower so I could continue to roll with my body's waves. They started coming quicker, and the water turned bitter cold against my skin. It was then that I knew I needed to gather my team because our journey was getting rocky, and my husband and I needed support from my sister, mother, and my beautiful birth team at Bella Vie to walk with us through this part. Looking back on my labor, I see my birth team as my sherpas. A group of strong individuals guiding me on such a special on momentous journey up my mountain. They weren't forceful or controlling, just there to guide and support me however I needed.
My sister burst through the door of our apartment as I was trying to figure out how to get dressed while contracting. I had never been happier to see her. Although she's been there for me for literally my whole life, I've never felt more connected to her than in that moment. She rushed to my side and helped me through the rough transition from pregnancy to motherhood. I felt empathy in her touch, I felt that she had been there, and she met me right where I was. She felt those waves, that tightening. She's walked down that road twice already and she was wholly and completely present with me through every contraction. It was beautiful, and desperately needed. While my husband was my rock, grounding me, my sister floated with me, both were just what I needed.
Off we flew to Bella Vie because although the last thing I wanted to do was get in the car, my midwife, Lenore, was waiting at the place that had become our home away from home, and they had a tub there. A big, beautiful tub, full of warm water that was beckoning me.
Laboring in the car wasn't the most serene or graceful thing I've ever done, but I survived and we found ourselves at Bella Vie. I knew walking up those steps on the front porch I was about to meet my game-changer. He was a "few" contractions away and I'd meet him, in a beautiful room, full of warm hearts. The car ride seemed long, but there was no place I'd rather be.

I slipped into the glorious tub and the water felt blissful. I labored there for awhile. My husband kept me steady and sang my birthing song with me, helping me keep it low and mellow. The song should probably never be recorded, but the low moans helped me relax my face, and helped me to breath. Relaxing my face helped me relax my body.

After about an hour of laboring here and there I felt myself slipping away from my contractions. I wasn't participating with them, I just wanted to escape them. I asked for a cervical check. It would be the first one of my entire pregnancy. I told my midwives at my last appointment that I didn't want to know the numbers if they thought it would give me a mental block. So I was checked, and I was simply told I needed to make more progress. Progressing at that time was rough. My contractions were on top of me, and I was fighting them. I wanted to go to the hospital to escape the pain. At the hospital there were women sleeping through contractions, or laughing and watching TV as their uterus' silently brought their babies down. "That could be me." I thought. But that was never what I wanted. Hospitals have always scared me. I hated the idea of someone I didn't know in my very very personal space.

My team talked me down from my desires of an epidural with the crushing reality that an epidural means another dreadful car ride, scrubs, strange people, AND a big fat needle. I had several pep talks with my sherpas. They had all been there too, and they had the right words to stop my heart and my head from running away. They trusted my body when I was trying to run from it.

Later in the evening I smelled dinner coming from the kitchen. I was starving. Although I could have eaten whatever I wanted, I was nauseous and I had horrendous heartburn. I knew I had to get the baby out before I could enjoy a meal. Baby by dinner was my goal!

Five, six, and seven o'clock slipped on by like a stream over pebbles. I watched the sun fade away as the truth sunk in: our journey was far from over.
Knowing that Uriah and I still had a long road ahead of us before we could see each other, I let myself slip off into "labor land." I let loose, and let go. I gave up trying to put myself on a time schedule  and just got lost in the waves. I occasionally was brought back to earth to either go to the bathroom or drink water, my two very least favorite things to do.

At some point when the night was dark, and time held no meaning to me anymore, I had another cervical exam. Lenore told me I was at an 8 which was considerable progress since when I arrived I was only a 2, which isn't even considered active labor. I couldn't believe I was only a 2 when I got there. Thank goodness they never told me. When I learned I was at 8 it was just fine for me because I was coasting. That's not to say that my contractions were less painful, but I was letting them come and letting them go without thinking and obsessing over them.

Soon after my check I felt my body give a little push while I was in the tub. I knew it was too soon to be pushing, so I crawled back to bed to rest for awhile. The nausea that had followed me throughout labor finally climaxed, and I puked hard. Finally! I felt so much better.
My body gave another push and warm water flowed out of me. I had forgotten all about my bag of waters till they broke. The progress I had been making was becoming obvious. We were getting there.
My body was itching to get back in the water. Back into the tub, I wouldn't be leaving without holding my sweet baby in my arms. I felt my body start laboring my body down. My contractions turned from waves, to pressure, pushing baby down. I could feel how high my son was in the birth canal, so I just let my body do the work without baring down. It was then that I felt the insane, unbridled power of my body. No one had to tell me how, it wasn't something I read in a book, or learned in school. My body was pushing out this baby that it had grown and nourished for 9 months. The power was incredible, and I wasn't even doing anything. I was merely hosting the power that had overtaken my body. To only say that contractions "hurt" is a gross disservice of describing what the female body is capable of. When you hear the tale of a runner winning his race, or a hiker defeating a summit, the pain in training is a source of pride. How much more of a miracle is a baby being born, and yet the pain is viewed as a symptom, not a passage to victory.

Lenore checked my cervix, and I was at 10, but I had a small cervical lip. She encouraged me to let my body work, but try not to push with it. My body worked and worked to bring down my baby. It seemed like eternity. I found comfort from my work by keeping eye contact with my sherpas. I saw strength in their eyes, and I knew everyone believed I could make it over this mountain of a task.
After hours of laboring my baby down I finally felt like I should help my body push. I didn't really know what that meant exactly, but I felt like I wanted to bare down with the waves. I was checked again, and the lip was gone.

I talked to my baby and told him I couldn't wait to meet him. I was so ready.
Mustering up the furthest reaches of my strength, will and determination I pushed HARD. Though he felt so far away from crowning, I pushed. With my fingers, arms, legs, toes, and every inch of me, I pushed. There was a remarkable amount of power and strength radiating through my body. Each wave would roll in and I'd wait and wait till I got to the top, and we would come crashing down with force.

It was the biggest, hardest task of my life, but my baby and I were doing it perfectly. I could feel him twisting and turning his way down. I found myself moving in and out of different positions. I finally found myself in the corner of the tub, the perfect place. I held myself up on the edge and let my legs and hips float, free of pressure. My husband sat in front of me, just outside the tub.

"I'm gonna shoot this baby out at you!" I warned him. And although he didn't exactly "shoot out" he did start coming out. I felt the ring of fire. I felt the head slowly, so very slowly, come out. His head felt a mile long. I watched everyone in the room watch me. Their faces willed with awe, and stacked with anticipation. The mood was calm and quiet though all of our lives were about to change. It might have been due to the sleepiness of being awake all night, or the sense that something big and powerful was happening, or maybe both.

 This was it. This was really it. I felt my son's face slide out of me, and finally, his head was out.
After I got over the disappointment that the rest of his body didn't come out with his head, and I would have to wait for another contraction, I realized, at long last I could see my baby! I looked down and my jaw dropped. Firstly, there was a head coming out of me. Secondly, it was covered in hair! I don't know why, but I was convinced I'd have a bald baby.

Apparently they couldn't just pull him out, so I waited and waited for what seemed like a lifetime. I couldn't push without a contraction. It finally came though. I felt it coming from a mile away, and I let it build I knew I only needed one epic final push to meet my son. At the peak of the wave I pushed with my whole being. My whole body shook as I gave up everything in one last push.
A perfect baby slid into the water, and into his daddy's eager hands. Uriah Blaine Gilbert was handed to me, and I clutched him to my chest. Just like that I had become a mother, and suddenly my whole heart was captivated by this tiny baby on my chest. I kissed his head, and called his name, and he let out a tiny cry.

I did it. I brought my baby into the world, in an incredible display of my strength as a mother. I'll never be the same and neither will my husband. Our lives were changed by the journey, and this destination of parenthood is the ultimate reward.

I held my son in my arms as I looked him over. A perfect butt chin, just like his daddy's, a a cute little nose, perfect lips, and two ears that are to die for. He had big strong hands that had blisters on them from him sucking on them in my belly, my silly baby.
I cried. The tears slipped from my eyes as I found every inch of perfection that his daddy and I created together, and my body sustained. My husband cried too as he held the two of us. A family of three at long last.

We spent time bonding with our baby, and about 45 minutes after birth Uriah's placenta was delivered. An incredible heart-shaped organ that my body made to grow my child. We sat staring at our son for what seemed like an eternity, I brought my son to my chest and he latched on like he had done it a million times. I cried some more. Such a wonderful way to bond with him.

 Soon after he was done, my husband cut the cord. He was surprised how strong it was. They weighed and measured our son, 9 pounds 2 ounces, and 21.5 inches long. A little moose baby! I was examined for tears and I only needed one small stitch.

Next my husband got to hold him, and my heart just ran over with love and admiration. Nothing has ever been so perfect. We turned off our phones so we could focus on resting and bonding with our child. Laying there with our son was the only thing we felt we needed to do... Oh and eat. The food was incredible, the service was even better. We had a 24 hour postpartum midwife stay with us for help with anything we needed, including making us homemade meals. We were able to co-sleep the first night in a comfy queen sized bed. The next day we had a peaceful herbal bath to speed healing. We went home that afternoon after checkout.

We couldn't have imagined a better birth, or a better story. I've never been more in awe, or more thankful for God's gift of his creations. I never in my life felt perfect, but now I have a small glimpse of how He sees me, because I look at my son, and I've never seen anything more perfect.

We are so thankful for our sherpas.. err I mean midwives at Bella Vie for their love, guidance, and trust. We are thankful for my sister and mother for their help. Also for Jessica Kirkland for capturing the best moments of our lives in pictures.

One Month Young

The first month has come and gone. It's been hard, it's been a little bit crazy, but mostly it's been beautiful. We've had some good days and some rough days, but everyday we figure it out a little more.
Everyday his eyes fade a little more from dark grey to a beautiful brown, and his gaze peers a little deeper into my eyes. I swear he can see straight into my soul. He gets that from his father I think. I love it when his curious eyes find mine from across the room. It makes me feel like the most important person in the universe. When I have his focus I concentrate all of my being into showing him how much I love him, because when you are one month old you don't understand the words, "I love you." You can feel love though. When I wrap him up against me and he can feel my breathing and feel my heart beat like when he was in my belly, or when I nurse him and the magical elixir relaxes his little body and sends him off to sleep. Even when he's just crying and all I can do is hold him so he knows I'm there. That's how I love my baby, and I know he feels it, because of this wonderful thing called a mother's instinct.

(Photo Cred: Jessica Kirkland Photography)

Bringing my baby into the world was the hardest thing I've ever done, so it shouldn't surprise me that becoming a mother and dying to myself everyday wouldn't be a walk in the park either. But just as the pain and anguish of labor had the biggest reward, so to has mothering. When I feel his body finally melt into mine after a fit of crying and strained muscles, or when his eyebrows reach to his forehead and his little lips curl up into a cheesy grin. When I wake up and he is still sleeping peacefully and I can watch his chest rise and fall and he mutters newborn ramblings off in dreamland.
That is the good stuff. That's my reward. That's my pat on the back saying, "You aren't half bad mom, I think we are gonna make it." It's how I know the anxiety I feel is not truth. The truth is this newborn stuff is gold. It's hard, but him and I are going to make it. Just like we made it through labor.

(Photo cred: Jessica Kirkland Photography)

At the end of the day if the only thing I accomplished was feeding the baby, and changing his diaper, I can still count it as a win because at the end of it all, Uriah needed me, and I was there, and that's the most important thing really.

(Photo cred: Jessica Kirkland Photography)

So happy one month baby boy. You are joy in the purest form, and I love you endlessly.

Fourth Trimester Beginnings!

Well my baby is two weeks old today. Two weeks and 51 minutes ago (when I started writing this blog) I brought this hairy little moose baby into the world, and as I write this said moose baby is curled up on my chest, tucked under my chin in the safest spot in the whole world for my child to be.
How did he get here? He woke me up half an hour ago rooting around to find some milk. I swear if he had teeth he would have chewed right through my nursing tank that I've been wearing for two days straight. I lifted him up and he got to eat. Breastfeeding is so rewarding to me. I love it. It's a perfect time for bonding and my baby is a really funny eater. I love his facial expressions when he eats, and when he grunts and snorts while trying to latch on. It's hilarious, and it brings much needed comic relief because my sweet boy has started to get fussy.
Which is why he is here under my chin. Sometimes all you can do is just hold your baby tightly while they cry. It's a horrible thing when you can't bring peace to your baby, but if I were him, I would cry too. The womb was a pretty great place, and in comparison, outside life is the pits. It's cold out here, and hunger exists out here. This hasn't been a problem for Uriah up till the last two weeks. So he is trying to make sense of his new world, and thank God for warm milk and my ability to store it.
I love getting to know my child now that he is earth side. I remember feeling vibrating movements when he was in my belly, and now I know that it was his tiny little butt chin quivering! That chin of his, I swear, I'll never get over it. It's one of the first things I noticed about him when he was born.
Speaking of which, I HAVE written out my birth story! I read it out loud to my husband and I realized, it is hands down the worst writing I have done in my whole life. There are many edits to be made to it, and I'm waiting for our birth pictures to get here to go with the story. I'm definitely saving the rough draft because it's kinda funny how bad it is. To give myself credit I have postpartum brain, and I only ever got to write one or two paragraphs at a time between feedings and diaper changes and all the visitors we've had.
As far as mommy (me) goes, I've been doing pretty good. If you've been following my blog you might have noticed I was really nervous about postpartum emotions and moodiness and overall recovery.
Well I'll tell you what, I did something kinda crazy. I haven't wanted to share about it for fear of being judged, or written off as crazy, or "too crunchy." But you know what? I don't really care anymore, because through Uriah's birth I learned how strong I am, and other people's opinions have really taken a backseat. I've already had some hurtful things be said about this decision, but I decided that someone else's opinion isn't worth me being upset and hurt over.
So what did I do? I got my placenta encapsulated, and then I took them as a way to help myself recover. Why? Because they have helped balance my mood. There are lots of other really great benefits to it, and if you're interested you can look it up and see for yourself, but for me, I did it for hormonal balance. And it worked for me. Every time I started to feel weepy or down for no reason I would take two pills and I would feel leveled. Let me tell you, it's better than anti depressants, and it's better than crying and feeling down when there is another option.
Physically, recovery has been relatively smooth! I only had one small stitch (that's right, 9 pound baby only one stitch) and it's pretty much healed by now. I was bruised internally, so it hurt to sit or stand for any length of time, but that is doing much better too. I had a cough for awhile, and it felt like a baseball bat to the delivery zone every time I coughed, but luckily it didn't hang around long. And Uriah didn't get sick either, thank you breast milk.
Breastfeeding has been a fun learning experience. It started out good, Uriah was a pretty easy latcher right off the bat. We only really need to work on his little lips curling out a little more. I got blisters the second day, but they were gone by the end of the first week, thank God! That first week was painful because when he latched not only did it hurt from the blisters, but it also caused my uterus to cramp (and I thought I was done with contractions) and it was just not the best feeling ever, but we nursed through it, and I'm glad we did because I love breastfeeding my little moose now. My supply evened out at the end of week two, so I'm not walking around ready to feed an entire army now. I would like to increase my supply a little so I can pump and have some back up. It would be really great if I got enough to donate, but I know that takes a lot of time and effort! Small steps!
Hopefully I will get on somewhat of a schedule and start blogging regularly again, but right now my priorities are feed baby, and sleep! I'll keep you all posted as I can! Oh and I apologize for all the mistakes on this blog, but I figure I should get it out there while I can!

40 weeks!

Well here we are! It's my due date. The good thing about babies is you don't get a fine for being over due. You are off the hook little fella.
This week has had some ups and downs, and I'm not talking about the 30 flights of stairs I've climbed. There were a few days where I was getting a little impatient, but I refocused and I've been feeling a lot better since then. At 39 weeks I decided that I was ready, but the funny thing is, it really doesn't matter when I'm ready. Hilarious right? Babies come when they are ready, not when mommies are ready, so here we are, still pregnant, still enjoying little Uriah kicks from within. I love my baby so much. I mean what's a few more days right? I've already been waiting a year (if you count when we started trying) to meet him, I guess a few more days won't kill me. Let's not talk about what a "few" means.
Zach and I have a special trip planned for Saturday, and it will be a lot of fun! I can't wait! We will be going to one of our favorite places that we haven't been to in forever! I've been trying to stay busy, but not too busy, doing fun things to fill my time, and it's been working, because I'm 40 weeks pregnant and I don't hate my life! We are calling it a win! I'm much happier when I'm not resenting my baby for not making his appearance yet. I get it son, my uterus is pretty fabulous. Enjoy it while it lasts!
Everyday is a decision to either be happy that my body is still sustaining my baby, or to be upset I can't kiss his little face! Some days that decision is a lot harder than other days. It is too easy to wallow in my prodomal labor blues. Lucky me I've had so many people praying for me and giving me encouragement, it has made a world of a difference! So thank you to those of you who have been helping me, it REALLY does take a village! And I will be thinking of all of you while I labor to bring my son into the world.
I had my due date appointment today, and it went really well, my midwife helped me talk through some things. I'm so thankful for her care! She told me that Uriah has dropped, which I had a feeling he had because he feels very very low! We can credit him dropping to my two hikes up Mt labor yesterday! I also got to spend two hours in the waiting room of a car dealership waiting for my car to be serviced, it wasn't fun having prodromal labor there, I'll tell you that much, but hey, new tires, so I guess there's that.
I also had a chiropractor appointment today. My massage therapist has really been helping with the pain in my neck/back/shoulder and I get to lay on my belly with the help of a pregnancy bolster. She also explained the adjustment that the chiropractor does to help induce labor, and as it turns out, it's really not that crazy. All it does is create space in your pelvis and help relax those muscles down there! I didn't have it done, but it would sure beat getting pitocin!
Trying to sleep really sucks when I'm having contractions (which is always) but sleep is about to be a foreign concept to me anyways, so hey, why not a little practice in insomnia? I just hope I can get a good night's rest before I go into real labor.
We will see when my little baby butt chin will make his appearance! Thank you for all the support, and for following my blog on this journey! I'm almost there!

To my Uriah Blaine

Hey baby,
You sure seem comfy in there. I'm so glad my body has given you your first home for so long now. I'm so lucky to have been able to do so, I'll never look back on my 9 months of pregnancy with remorse because I love carrying you around. I love seeing every one of your family members bond with you even while you are in my belly. Even the dog is excited.
You are so little and you have already changed my world. It is hard for me to imagine that you still have so many lessons to teach me. I know that I think I love you now, but when I see you, my whole heart will probably explode. You are so wise little guy to already be teaching me things. We have a long road to walk down together, and no matter what befalls us the most important thing in the whole world, the one thing that goes beyond everything else, is that you have a mommy and daddy who love you more than life, and nothing will ever change that. Not your stinky diapers, or the sleepless nights. Not your toddler tantrums, or even your teenage tantrums. We love you wholly and completely for all that you are and all that you are going to be.
I really have your daddy to thank for my first lesson in love. I never knew what love could really do until I married your dad. He has shown me unconditional, selfless love, and it's incredible to me. I had no choice but to make him a daddy, so that we could create a little human with which to share our love and passion with. I'm so glad we have you.
As we prepare to hold you earth side I want you to know that you are just as much "here" to me now, as you will be after I deliver you. I can't wait to see your little face, but I know what your little feet feel like, and I know how much you love morning walks. I already know you are a wise soul for teaching me so much through your gestation.
I'm thankful for you, and I am ready to journey through birth with you as you do your part and I do mine. I love you Uriah Blaine, I'll see you soon!

39 weeks

I feel like my life is going to change this month. I think October is going to be the best month of the year. It's just a funny hunch I get.  This week has been another good one! Nothing too spectacular has happened, I've just been enjoying the ride!
I've had some serious shoulder pain return from my accident and it pretty much feels like Muhammed Ali punched me. It's hard because there isn't much I can do about it except go to the chiropractor which I am doing, but it still hurts like a son of a... it makes me feel really grumpy and irritated to be in pain that I can't fix. My poor husband has been handling it well though, bless his heart. I also kept him up all night a few nights ago because I was snoring so loud I kept waking him up. Pregnancy is sooooo  cute you guys. I blame it on the fact that we forgot to turn the humidifier on. I can imagine that living with my grumpy butt this week has been insufferable, but for some reason Zach is handling it so well. Bless his heart. He has had a couple conversations with Uriah about coming out soon because he wants to meet him. We will see what "soon"means to Uriah, because I'm sure he is just like his father and will be very obedient (not!)
I've also had a touch of insomnia, some very restless legs and feet, heartburn up the wazoo, and don't you dare try to eat in front of me because I will steal your sandwich. I have the appetite of a teenage boy, or worse. It's like all I really think about is food. It's exhausting. It makes it hard to eat right when I want to eat so much and so frequently. And I know breastfeeding is probably going to be the same thing. Bring to me all the carbs.
We got our car seat installed this weekend. I'm very excited about it. I love looking back in the mirror and seeing it there, just waiting to safely transport my little moose here and there.
Uriah is still moving and grooving in my belly. I can feel his toes wiggling and feel his feet shake when he gets a good stretch. He seems pretty comfy in there!
My chiropractor offered to induce me next week, and I politely said no. I've been lucky to have a healthy body and healthy baby, so since there is no reason to, I say let him pick his birthday! It is nice to know I have that as an option so I wouldn't have to turn to pitocin, or even castor oil. I'll give castor oil a big hell no!
But I will say that for the first time I actually feel ready for labor. I will welcome it with open arms. I'm ready to be a mom (er well are you ever REALLY ready ha ha) and hold my baby. Whenever you want mister!