Always wondering

Its really weird not knowing if I'm pregnant. It has been really hard just wondering what's going on inside of me. I've noticed some significant changes, but it can all be explained by other things too. So here I am wondering if there is the smallest little baby cells starting to form in there, or if I'm just crazy. Either way I think a lot about my belly now.
I don't want to get my hopes up by guessing if I'm having symptoms, but its hard not to. I could be a week or two pregnant and I could not be pregnant at all. Its terrible not knowing. I'm trying to pray for patience, because I feel crazy about it.
Another thing that scares me is if I can't get pregnant. For some reason I'm really scared of infertility. I have a family full of fertile mertals, but it still scares me!
It's fun trying to get pregnant, but I just really want a baby... Now please!
Lord give me patience!